The death of a loved one is a time profound grief and sorrow. It is also a time when our Faith can offer great comfort. Our belief in the Resurrection of Christ allows us to experience grace in the midst of sadness and loss. The Catholic Church offers many prayful rituals at the time of death. These are meant to bring hope and consolation to friends and family members as they commend the soul of the deceased person to God's loving mercy.

 

Please take time to read through these frequently asked questions and answers to support a better understanding of the way the Catholic church celebrates funerals and assist family and friends as they prepare to celebrate the funeral of their loved one.

The funeral Mass is the normal way the Catholic Church commemorates a person’s death. At the funeral Mass, family, friends, and parishioners gather to pray for the deceased and for the deceased person’s family and friends using scripture readings, prayers, and special rites. Because the Eucharist is the memorial of Christ’s own saving death and resurrection, it is the most appropriate way to celebrate at the time of death.

No. In some instances it can be appropriate to celebrate a funeral outside the Mass. This is commonly done, for example, when all or most of the family members of the deceased are not Catholic. Another example would be the funeral of a non-Catholic person who was married to a Catholic and had no other church affiliation. In both cases, a Liturgy of the Word without the celebration of the Eucharist is appropriate.

Normally, the pastor presides at the funeral Mass. There are exceptions, however; for instance, if the family of the deceased has a priest who is a relative or a very close friend, he might be asked to preside. Also, a deacon may preside at a funeral outside of the Mass.

If at all possible, the remains of the deceased should be present during the funeral Mass in order for the Church’s full rites for the dead to be celebrated.

The Church does permit cremation although it does not accord it the same value as burial of the body. And even in the case when cremation is going to take place, the Church has a strong and clear preference for bringing the body of the deceased to the Church for the funeral and delaying the cremation until afterwards. The reason for this is set forth in the Church’s Order for Christian Funerals: “The Christian faithful are unequivocally confronted by the mystery of life and death when they are faced with the presence of the body of one who has died… The body was once washed in the waters of baptism, anointed with the oil of salvation, and fed with the Bread of life. The presence of the body brings forcefully to mind the Church’s conviction that the human body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, destined for future glory at the resurrection of the dead.”.

That being said, it is understood that for financial or other reasons, cremation may need to occur prior to the funeral mass.

Yes, the cremated remains, enclosed in a worthy container or urn, are brought to the Church for the funeral. After the funeral, they are buried in the ground or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. The Church does not allow the practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or of keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased. Such practices do not properly honor the dignity of the human body.

A “memorial Mass” is a funeral celebrated in those exceptional cases when it is not possible for the remains of the deceased, whether in a casket or an urn, to be present.

Most often, funerals take place on weekdays, usually in mid-morning or in early afternoon. They may also be celebrated on a Saturday. Funeral Masses may not be celebrated on Sunday.

Funerals are scheduled in consultation with the Pastor and parish office. As far as possible, the needs and wishes of the family are given first consideration, although the availability of the pastor and of the church must also be taken into account.

Members of the family are encouraged to participate actively in the funeral. There are a number of ways for them to be involved. Some family members usually meet with the funeral coordinator to plan the funeral. Then, prior to the service, family members are present in the church to welcome friends to the celebration. They can also choose the pallbearers or even serve as pallbearers. They almost always place the funeral pall (a reminder of the white garment received at baptism) over the casket at the beginning of the liturgy. Family members can also proclaim the readings from the scriptures and present the gifts of bread and wine for the celebration of the Eucharist. In the case of a funeral when the cremated remains are present, a family member usually carries the urn in the procession.

The long custom of the Catholic Church is for the deceased to be buried from his or her own parish church. Because of this, as a general rule, people whose funerals are celebrated at St Matthew are parishioners or people who have had a long relationship with the parish. Even if not officially registered, the person should have been involved in some way with the St Matthew community. Any alumni of St Matthew School are welcome to be remembered here at the parish.

The priest or deacon who presides at the funeral will give a homily during the service. And while the homily differs from a eulogy, most homilists make the effort to speak in a personal way about the deceased and to relate the scripture readings to the life of the deceased. For this reason, the Church discourages the traditional lengthy funeral eulogy or suggests that, if one is to take place, it be given at the reception or even at the cemetery.

 

However, if circumstances indicate that a eulogy is appropriate; it is offered by a family member or friend at the end of the funeral service and should be no more than 500 words in length. St Matthew asks that the text of the eulogy be shared with the funeral coordinator at least 24 hours before the funeral. This is done in order to ensure the appropriateness of the remarks and to assist the presider who will not want to make statements in his homily that will later be repeated in the eulogy.

When the body has been brought to the church, the burial usually takes place immediately after the funeral or, sometimes, after the reception. If cremation is to follow the funeral, the burial of the remains takes place sometime later. The priest who presided at the funeral or the funeral coordinator may lead the graveside service with family members and friends in attendance, or a priest or deacon who works with the funeral home may lead the graveside service. Please check with the funeral coordinator and the funeral home to arrange this.

In some cases, families choose to have a vigil for the deceased during the time following death and before the funeral liturgy. The vigil may be celebrated in the home of the deceased or in the funeral home. It may also be celebrated in the church, although this can be a challenge to schedule, we are always willing to work with you. Some families, because of the deceased member’s devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, choose to recite the rosary at this time. None of these vigil celebrations require the presence of a priest or deacon and can be led by family members. The funeral coordinator will be happy to furnish appropriate materials upon request, for rosaries.

Yes. The Parish Community Center is generally available for use after funerals. The parish life coordinator for funeral ministries can provide detailed information about reception facilities and how receptions are handled.

While there is no fee for the funeral Mass. It is customary for an offering to be made to the parish. There are fixed fees for the musicians (cantor and accompanist) at the funeral. It is also customary to give an offering of $15 to each of the altar servers, given to them at the end of Mass.